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Free US shipping — and free worldwide over $75.
Printed to order · Free US shipping · 30-day guarantee
From the studio
I had been generating Civil War-era portrait studies for a different series when this sloth showed up in a top hat, holding a parchment like he had been holding it for hours. The raccoon was already standing next to him. I did not place the raccoon. The eagle and the sparkler came in the same pass — the model decided the scene needed one small celebration, in the upper corner, far away from the sitting figure. That restraint is what sold me. I kept everything.
A vintage patriotic sloth tee: a sloth in a Lincoln-style top hat and black coat, reading his address at the only pace worth reading anything — unhurried.
The painterly vintage portrait shows a sloth dressed as a Lincoln-esque statesman — black frock coat, tall stovepipe hat, a scroll in hand — seated and reading without urgency. A dignified raccoon attends at his side, a bald eagle drifts overhead trailing sparks, and an American flag hangs behind.
For the person whose composure has been mistaken for a position. Some figures do the weighty things slowly, on purpose — and history tends to remember them for it.
Original AI-crafted art printed to order on a heavyweight Comfort Colors 1717 in royal blue — 6.1oz ringspun garment-dyed cotton, unisex. Runs slightly large; size down for fitted.
Comfort Colors 1717 heavyweight tee — 6.1oz ringspun cotton, garment-dyed for a lived-in feel. Printed direct-to-garment with water-based inks. Gets softer with every wash.
Free standard shipping on all US orders, and free worldwide over $75. Orders are usually made and shipped within 1–2 business days (busy seasons can run a little longer). 30-day happiness guarantee — if you're not satisfied, we'll make it right. Misprints and shipping damage replaced free, just send us a photo.
Some photos show AI-generated models (not real people). Photos of the item on its own show the actual printed product. Learn more

The Statesman



