Sir Sloth A Lot

Hear ye, hear ye. The banner says SIR SLOTH A LOT and we are honor-bound to take it seriously. He is reclining on a giant mushroom in a wizard's hat, with a long red beard and a wand he is holding loosely, the way you hold something you've already done the work of. The owl beside him is reading aloud from the Philosophy of Slow. Nobody asked the owl to do this but the owl has the book and the owl has opinions and we are all listening now. The ants are building a log fort. The capybara is rowing a small boat down the stream for reasons the capybara has not disclosed. The alligator is wearing sunglasses and what appears to be a crown — we believe he has appointed himself, but we don't have the documents. A turtle is glowing. Two foxes. Two fairies. The skulls in the trees are normal medieval poster business and you should not worry about them. This is not the meditating sloth. This is not the sloth in pajamas. This is the sloth as he wishes history to remember him: at full repose, attended by his court, in the posture of someone who has won. Heavyweight garment-dyed cotton, the kind that gets better the more you ignore it. Soft from the first wear, softer after the third, eventually the softest thing you own. Relaxed fit, no side seams, sewn-in label so nothing scratches the back of your neck while you're being knighted into a slower way of living. Holds up to gardens, hammocks, long drives, longer naps, and approximately one decade of weekly laundry. Wear it on the days you want to be addressed by a fancier name. Wear it to the renaissance fair, the farmers market, the second-cousin's wedding where you don't know anyone. Wear it on Sunday morning when the only thing you have to do is nothing and you are doing it with great dignity. The cloth 100% ring-spun US cotton, pre-shrunk 6.1 oz heavyweight, garment-dyed for that lived-in hand Double-needle stitched, tubular construction (no side seams) S–4XL, sewn-in label, available in many colors The care Wash cold (max 30°C / 90°F), no bleach Tumble dry low, iron low, no dry cleaning Treat it like a friend and it will return the favor